bewilderment

It's that time of night again where I go searching for a buzz... anything that will give me that warm feeling, the light almost-electric "hum" in my nerves that both relaxes and strains me. I've found myself feeling the "need" to get high almost every day at some point or another, but most strongly in the evenings. I don't search out a buzz every night, although when I do it's nearly always around 7 or 8 in the evening. The reason for doing it is still a mystery to me; my only explanation for it is that I'm an addict. There are no limits to my addiction, either: anything that can give me those warm fuzzies or help me forget reality and the burdens of life for a moment will suffice.

Looking up

First off, I apologize to those of you who've been back every day to see if I've posted something new. I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long. Things have been a little hectic around here between trying to get and keep the house clean before my folks come on Tuesday -- they'll be here for three days -- and trying to stay amused. I've recently gone a bit OCD on peeling my fingernail off on my left thumb; whether it's straight-up OCD or anxiety (or some combination of the two, perhaps), I haven't a clue. It hurts, and I want to stop... but I just can't seem to. I guess as long as it doesn't get infected, I'm okay. I'll just keep trying to leave it alone I suppose.

Some great news -- Marco has a physical and drug test on Monday for Toyota.... Finally, he'll be making the amount that his dedication, loyalty, and reliability actually warrants, thank goodness. He starts at the Princeton, Indiana plant in about three weeks. The sort-of bummer about it is that he got the job through a temp agency which means that they get some of what he makes as commission and it's not for certain whether he will be able to stay there after his contract is done. Also, we don't know just how long the contract is even for. I guess we will just have to keep our fingers crossed, although I'm fairly sure that they'll see the same awesome things about his hard work as O'Reilly's has and not want to lose him. It's unfortunate that they couldn't pay him what he's actually worth (or even something approaching it would've been great), but it's their loss. Marco and I will both be laughing about it - in totally "I told you so" fashion," natch - when they can't find someone that comes anywhere close to replacing him. He's more or less been the assistant manager there for over a year - without the pay or the title. It's bull, really, and I'm thankful that we've been able to stick it out and get the timing right for the opportunity he's pounced on.

So hopefully by this time next year, we'll be living in an actual house in a quieter area. Princeton's not a bad town, although I'm only going on what Marco's told me. If things go well, we might be out of the trailer by March or April at the latest, November if things don't go according to plan.... So I suppose we're aiming for July or August... because we all know that nothing ever goes totally according to the plan.

Hope all you loverly readers are well! <3

The Paulding Light

For the longest time, there have been persistent rumors and belief that The Paulding Light is a haunted site. Check it out for yourself -- The Mysterious "Paulding Light" on YouTube - contains some information and one of few recordings of the light.

It's Harder Than I Thought

One of the things I've been really missing lately is, surprisingly, the one thing I didn't think I would miss all that much.

Home. The place where I come from, the place that allowed me to be protected to some small extent.... I can't honestly imagine having grown up anywhere else, although it had its shortcomings. At least I thought they were shortcomings; as it turns out, they're actually perks in their own quirky ways.

The Upper Peninsula of Michigan @ Panoramio

Life's a Bitch

As much as I hate to complain (alright, perhaps I like to complain, although I hate the amount of complaining that comes from me -- does that make any sense?), one of my biggest problems in life is not getting due recognition. I'm not talking about being under-appreciated or unloved; I'm talking about fame levels.


Most folks, after they've known me for a little while, know that I would absolutely love to be recognized for my vocal talent and social vision. The view that "people are people are people" (or something similar to such) is a rather common one, although it's not brought into practice enough. A lot of the material that I write (and aspire to write) involves that view. If there were any one dream that I could have become a reality, it would be for my thoughts, ideas and honest love for people and their well-being to come to fruition.

Drunky II

Well, as I just commented on Argentum Vulgaris's blog over @ Life is Just like That..., I've been partaking in the alcohol yet again tonight. I had some interesting word verifications there: first one was "dionregix" and the second was "impsy;" had I posted a third comment, I would've needed to verify my comment with "jewbonic." Hahaha... has anyone else ever noticed some funny little word creations coming up in the verification process? I've had some rather hilarious ones at times as well as some actually related to the subject matter of the blog I was commenting on... coincidental, I'm sure. :)

What have some of your funny little word verifications been?

Today was a day full of win:

Pandemic!

I found out about a really cool evil game yesterday browsing around on It Made My Day -- in this game, you are supposed to create, evolve, and mutate a nasty bug and infect the world with it. Haha. Pandemic II can be found and played here. Just make sure that you have any Ad Blockers you may have on your computer turned off on that page to access it otherwise it won't play. After a short ad, the game will load.

I also wanted to mention that, no, I am not ignoring comments, I just don't feel that I really absolutely must reply to every one of them if I don't really feel up to it. You wonderful folks have done a great job making sure that I feel

That does it!

I finally broke down and bought ear plugs (or rather mom and dad did via that invaluable thing called an ATM - thanks yous guys!). I got the silicone ones that you have to shape and mold to your ear. I'm a little worried about using them too much though -- in the past, I would get outer ear infections regularly simply from sleeping on one side too many nights in a row! I'm concerned that if I wear them nightly it might be the same thing and not having insurance or even a primary care doctor... that's the last thing I need. I'm a big cry baby with ear infections - there's few things more painful to me.

Pandora's other box

Just a quick post today as I don't have anything going on to talk about, nor can I really collect my thoughts enough to organize a story properly.

Instead, I thought I would share with you one of my absolute favorite sites on the internet. Many of you have probably heard of it, but there's still a few folks who have no idea about this ingenious little piece of software.

Pandora (http://www.pandora.com) is, in my humble opinion, the absolute best way to discover your favorite music. I've found so many great artists, groups, and ensembles through using it -- Just start off by searching for one of your favorite songs or artists, and you will soon be on an unforgettable and addictive journey of music discovery.

Best of all, it's completely free!

Enjoy!

Little Epiphanies

Every now and then I happen to acquire little thoughts that come with better self-centering and balancing. Today, I had the opportunity to grow a little. It made me a little more peaceful, I guess. This morning while we were on our way to Denny's, Stephanie and I got some soda right before she had to be there to work. When I came home, I drank about half of it before going back to bed to sleep a little more. I never can seem to sleep eight hours in one chunk; the occasion on which I do is a rather rare occurrence. Don't get me wrong either - I can sleep like nobody's business anyway, just not all at once like that. I've always been a bit of an insomniac like that.

Anyhow, I digress.