Marco (aka "Sess") blogs too: Random Thoughts and Musings.

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In a little of a funk, so mind your head; the light's dim in here today.

I may not be writing a blog for tomorrow; Marco will be off for the first Sunday in a very long time. He usually works open to close on Sunday, so it'll be awesome to have him home for a change.

So today I've been thinking about how hanging in limbo, waiting for life to start, is just no fun. Not really feeling sorry for myself, as I'm not too depressed about it, since I am at least trying. It's just been rather difficult for me to figure out what I want to do with my life, since I have to be here anyways and all. I'm trying to figure out what is most important to me; what do I really want to achieve? There's just too many options for me to comprehend sometimes. It gets frustrating when there are so many things to do but only so many that I actually enjoy and even fewer that I enjoy AND could make a life of doing.

For me, the problem has always been indecision. There's just too many options out in the world and even more still that's unknown or yet to be discovered! How am I supposed to light on something and stick with it? How do I know that I'm making the right choice?

I think, more than anything, that I want to make a difference in the world. Not something huge, but definitely a little bigger than the average person's impact. But I just don't know how to fix it.... To me, it seems as though life is hardly worth fighting for anymore when we're all so determined, as a society, to watch it burn. Just how do you convince people who are dead set on spreading their messages of hate and inequity that they are the reason they are angry and nobody else? Please, tell me how.

How do you convince people that it's much easier to just be considerate to one another; consider that we are all different and that there is no such thing as perfection or supremacy. We're all the same on the inside; we all just want something worth living for, something worth smiling for, and something worth nurturing.

But how does one put that into action when we all know subconsciously that it doesn't really matter. Eventually, there won't be a world left, thanks to the last couple centuries worth of poisoning it. It's incredible how it took thousands of years to build the society we live in today, only to have it implode upon itself like it is now. It almost makes me feel like going all, "the end is nigh" and whatnot, but I don't see it quite like that.

I mean, as long as I'm here anyways, might as well try....

I guess. I just don't know whether to believe it's actually worth it or not. Damn indecision.


JW said...

The desire to make a difference burns in almost everybody. Such a noble cause is always worth an effort. Know that one person can rarely make such a huge impact as to make the world better.

You can only hope to make those around you better. By setting an example through your own actions, those who come in contact with you may choose to better themselves as well. Eventually, maybe everyone may get the message.

Maybe a single smile can change the world. Only one way to find out.


Jenno said...

@JW -- Free Hugs did some good, when I gave them... at least I've got that much under my belt.

I'll keep that in mind while I try to screw my smile back on. Don't know what's up with me today, but it's totally un-coo.

ladytruth said...

How to make your voice heard and make an impact? Either go into politics, start writing or lead by example in your everyday life. You can't run before you crawl and thus we all need to start small and be the change we want to see in others and the world. Good luck :)

Jenno said...

@ladytruth -- That's so true. I lose sight of that sometimes. It's just frustrating when it feels like I'll never stop crawling. :/

plainolebob said...

yep, always hard to figger out, so quit tryin and let it happen. Whut I mean is, make the ole priority list thing, look at it first, then go from there. from whut me an Bess, see , you is a very bright lady.
About that award. our e-mail is

Jenno said...

@Bob -- That's probably the most frustrating part about it; what I mean is if I'm so smart, how come I can't get my crap together? Meh. Thanks though, I'll have to try that exercise again. It hasn't seemed to work for me before though... my priorities and interests tend to fluctuate frequently. :(

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About La Jenno

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Vincennes, Indiana, United States
26 years old. Daring. Disenchanted. Different. Trying to live in a friendlier yet more honest world. There is sometimes no larger dilemma.

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